Spiritual Disconnection

Hello, so I thought I would write about something that has been really difficult for me to process. Spiritual disconnection is hard when you feel like you’ve been making such great progress for a while.

“Creator and creation are one, therefore creator, creation and I are one”

– Earth magic, Steven D. Farmer

What is spiritual disconnection?

Okay so what is spiritual disconnection? Spirituality is an ever changing experience for each person in this planet and no two journeys are the same but we all go through moments where everything feels ‘silent’.

So spiritual disconnection is an experience when you have been really focused on spirituality for a long time and spent a lot of time healing and working on yourself for a long time, but then suddenly it just stops.

The ‘disconnection’ will feel different for everyone and some may experience just feeling exhausted or fed up with it, some just lose interest or passion for it, or some people may feel angry and like there aren’t making any progress and want to step away for that reason.

These are all normal experiences and are valid as when you find spirituality, it can feel like you found the secrets to the universe and it is really to become obsessed and nothing is without balance so at some point you may lose complete interest in it as well.

Why does this happen ?

There are many reasons this may happen, the world can be very connected to a very low vibration and when you are on a higher vibration it is hard to balance the two and you can go to a lower vibration when life gets difficult or your focus needs to be elsewhere.

Mental health is a huge reason for spiritual disconnection, life is difficult and things happen that we don’t see coming. There is a lot of evidence that shows that spirituality and mental health is strongly linked to each other because it’s a very emotional experience a lot of the time which will have an effect on you.

Your diet can be another huge reason, if your not fuelling your body the right way or struggling with an eating disorder, this can can have a strong effect on your spirituality, if you don’t have the energy then you not going to be focused enough. Also food is healing for your body, certain foods can benefit you when going through your journey and if your not eating those foods then if can have an effect.

Life is also the most common one, life is fast paced and we live in a world that isn’t structured for a spiritual experience. Unless you are working in a job you love and living somewhere that brings you peace it can be really difficult to find your connection to spirituality sometimes.

There are many other reasons but these are just a few because I can’t go into them all on this post.

My experience

From my experience, when I discovered spirituality it was a slow journey where I just focused on learning about crystals for a few months and then found meditation to focus on for a while. At some point once I was confident enough and just started learning about everything and anything.

I learnt about herbalism and how to connect with nature, I had an interest in witchcraft for a few years then in 2020 started practicing. I took everything very slowly and studied everything before I started practicing. I was became really confident and comfortable in my process with spirituality and really felt like I had found myself and my soul purpose.

As you know in June 2022, I moved into my own home and one thing I have never been okay with is change.

Moving on my own was/ has been really difficult and far more hard than I expected. I always say spirituality saved my life because it helped my heal from my depression and anxiety and it’s the reason I knew it was real because before that I couldn’t see anything helping me.

A few months into living on my own my depression came back and I was struggling with my OCD which started because of the pandemic. To make everything worse, my spirituality sort of ‘disappeared’ which was really strange and I didn’t like. Nature has been a huge part of my spirituality and where I live now it’s all building construction and not really any nature so I think that had a big affect on me and my mental health which also then made me not want to go outside.

I was really obvious too me that I had lost my spirituality and that made it even worse because to me I thought I’m either “spiritual or depressed” because spirituality was the only thing that gave me hope and a passion for life.

I think a lot of people feel this way because spirituality is sort an epiphany that can happen during severe depression, which is what happened to me.

So this went of for about 4 months and then my nan died. This completely destroyed any progress I had/ was making. I had hoped that maybe this would bring back my spirituality in some form but it didn’t and the first two months was really difficult and I mainly just distracted myself.

Grief is one of the strangest experiences, you know someone has left this earth and you can’t talk to them, being spiritual I was hoping to have that connection to her but I haven’t felt anything which has been hard because I miss my nan so much.

It been 3 months and I’m starting to get moments where I get that call back to spirituality, I have times when I need to go for a walk and connect to nature and the Earth, I have moments when I want to practice witchcraft or get my crystals out or meditate under a full moon. I used to do all these things religiously but things are different now, that brings me sadness but I give myself peace and don’t get upset because I know this present me is not who I used to be and has experienced things the past me couldn’t imagine.

How to deal with this?

Okay so you never really know how long it will be or when you will feel more connected to that side of yourself. Everyone will be different depending on if you fight it, get upset over it or embrace it and understand that it’s not where your head is at right now.

You have to remind you self constantly that it not gone completely, you might not feel ‘connected’ or like you have any guidance right now but that for a reason. You are going through something where you don’t need any other distractions and you need to sit in the present and focus on you, not the bigger picture. You cannot lose your spirituality, sometimes you just can’t connect to it as strongly as other days but even then you are connected and supported no matter what.

“We are spiritual being living a human existence”

I don’t know when or if my spirituality will come back to where it was before but I know that I am still supported and guided by my angels (and my nan) who just want me to get the most out of this life. This life isn’t meant to be easy because we wouldn’t learn or grow at all if that was the case.

Thank you for reading and I hope this resonates with you or helps you feel understood!

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