Hello so mental health is a big topic but today I wanted to talk about my own personal experiences within this, and how spirituality played a huge role in my personal healing of my mind.
Okay so I was always an anxious child and preferred my own company ever since I can remember. I am naturally an anxious person and quite introverted, Although in my younger years I never had a name for these emotions and believed them to be completely normal. Throughout my teenage years I still struggled with my anxiety but began struggling with depression as well around 12 years old. I do truly believe genetics played a huge role in why I experienced these mental health issues so early on but needless to say I can’t remember how this came about but I began school counselling for many years on and off which never really helped me (and secretly may have been my way out of class!) as I never really cared for school. Anyway as the years went by and I still struggled severely with my depression and went to some seriously terrible places and thoughts during it. When I was 16 years old I left school and lost a lot of my friends as they went of to college which I never applied for as I had no idea what I wanted to do. I started a journal which I still read today and I feel so sad for that little girl who had no idea what was coming her way.
Anyway so two years later when I was 18 years old after doing lots of education courses and work experience I decided to get some real help. I had CBT Therapy which is a type of counselling specified for anxiety or OCD, as I was still really struggling with my anxiety and severe paranoia at this point. It really was momentous for me and helped me action out ways too evidently challenge my thoughts. I sort of had my own ‘Dorothy moment’ during this time as the world came back into colour for me and I could see/think for myself again.
A few months after this I had my spiritual awakening and everything really changed for me! I really do think my spiritual awakening gave me my life and personality back to me as before then I had spend the past 6/7 years just existing and didn’t have a single clue who ‘Emily’ was. My awakening was actually very slow and it took me a long time before I found where I was going in that direction in conjunction with healing my mental health and constantly dispelling whatever thoughts would appear thanks to my years of depression and anxiety.
As I mentioned, my spirituality started very slowly with just buying crystals, learning about zodiac signs and wrapping my head around intuition and psychics! But with time I began to see the light in the tunnel and found my own views of the world, my passions and who I am. I really sympathise with young children who struggle with depression or anxiety because I think the thing that isn’t discussed as much is how it will stop any discovery of who you are as a person and self development, it stunts your growth as a human and this is something I’ve really had to work hard on is finding that young girl who got so very lost in a mental whirlwind.
Spiritually really was my saviour and one of the first things that set my soul on fire for knowledge and to live to know what life is all about! To go see the big blue world we live on and to experience the human experience, which before I had never even thought or cared much for. I found nature to be enchanting and let my inner child out to see the magic in everything, and know my purpose in the world.
Mental health is difficult and can give you tunnel vision to a mentality that it will be never ending, and can affect us for many years. I know a lot of people who read my blog are spiritual but for those who aren’t and read this I hope you have your own personal ‘Dorothy’ moment when everything returns to colour for you, sometimes you just don’t see it coming when everything gets better for you so keep going because that moment will come in whatever form it is for you.
Thank you for reading this blog post and I know this was a serious topic but I was just feeling very nostalgic about how far I have come and felt like this may be relatable for some people right now. We’ve been through an exhausting pandemic, severe isolation and political minefield so I hope this maybe can reach a few people who need to hear this right now.
Uk Mental health access:
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Samaritans: 116 123
HeadSpace: mindfulness/meditation App
USA mental health access:
Lifeline: 1800 237 8255
24 hr Mental health line: 1 844 549 4266