Goodbye 2021!

Hello! I apologise for the absence for a while but my life has been rather strange over the last few weeks.

Happy New Years! I’ve been struggling to find any real inspiration for my blog recently and have been thinking hard about where I want this blog to be going…. I’m still figuring it out and am not sure wether I want this to be an informative or a personal journaling blog. Please let me know in the comments what you prefer to read as I’m sure it would be helpful as I love doing both but it also feels slightly strange to do both.

Anyway today I thought I would get a bit personal with you and talk about my Christmas & New Years experience! Also maybe share some wisdom if I have any currently….

So I don’t really talk a lot about mental health on my blog but for the past nearly two years I have been really suffering with OCD and a fear of germs that was mainly triggered by this pandemic. The first 3 months after the world went into lockdown I didn’t leave my home other than to go in the garden out of fear. I have been making leaps and bounds to deal with this and have come far, that was all put to the test this Christmas when I caught Covid and had to face everything that I had been fearing! I was mainly okay until I was sure that it was Covid and I completely lost it. I haven’t struggled with severe anxiety for a few years now and normally know my triggers but this was different even though I know my OCD had been really bad recently but thought I was managing it.

I won’t go into specifics but I pretty much ended up believing that I was dying, I couldn’t breathe properly and was uncontrollably shaking consistently. It was terrible and had never experienced anything that serious before that I ended up going into hospital overnight and having tests done. It turned out that it really was all anxiety and I was generally healthy but it ended up being a really empowering moment for me. Covid had been everything that I had been in complete fear of since the beginning of the pandemic and my family and I had been extremely lucky to have been safe for the last two years. For some reason me, my auntie and some other family all got Covid in the space of a week. In this experience I really found out how much I can handle because I never would have guessed that day I would have tested positive, believed that my lungs were shutting down, gone into hospital, been taken into an isolation ward and come out of it completely fine! It really reminded me that in the face of fear us humans can take a lot and we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for!

I am completely okay now and have recovered but it is interesting how we go through experiences right when we need it most without even knowing it’s what we need to go through at that time. I have been really struggling with my OCD and anxiety around this pandemic and I think I really went through Covid at the perfect time in my life. I know there are many people out there who are going through the same fears and I just hope they can find some solace in knowing that things happen for a reason and although we can’t control what happens to us, just know that everything you experience is for a reason and is a lesson. This really helped me whilst isolating and I don’t know if I would have mentally got through Covid without constantly reminding myself of this.

Okay we are finally in 2022! I don’t know if it was just me but the past year has just flown by and I’m not really sure what happened to it. 2021 was a year of crazy health mandates, vaccines and political madness but also for me a big personal growth year! Probably because there wasn’t much more to do other than focus on yourself which was again probably a similar story for a lot of people. This past year I really found my independence, focused on my mental health and found out where I’m going spiritually. I realised that I don’t want to keep waiting anymore and I’m going to go after what I want in life and really embrace my adulthood as I’m now in my 20’s.

Anyway I hope this was slightly inspiring possibly… and gave you an insight into my life currently. I hope you all had an amazing, evolving 2021 and this continues into the new year with you. The last two years have been crazy, very controlled and regulated but I hope everyone knows that it’s still your own life to live and regardless of politics or personal restrictions that you go and do what you want in 2022 and embrace whatever life throws at you as it’s there for a reason to help you learn and grow.

Thank you for reading and although this for me feels really messy and all over the place I hope you get something out of this blog post that will inspire for the new year ahead of us! I sincerely hope my blog will grow in 2022 and can reach as many people as possible who maybe can relate to me and going through their own spirituality journey currently. I started this blog in September and it has come further than I ever expected in three months! I’m very excited for the next twelve to come.

Also please do feel free comment on my blog or message me on my Instagram at ‘Emily’sperspectives’ to let me know if you prefer this more personal type of blog or a more informational blog so that I know how to go forward.

“Don’t spend another year doing the same things”

– Unknown

Happy new year and thank you for reading!